changes

changes changes changes are upon us...time to change the clock, change in the weather, changes in family...seems like everything is changing all at once. So far it seems like all the changes going on around us have been for the better. I may not like all the changes but I know they are for the best. his year started out with one bad change after another for about 2 months then all of a sudden those change took a turn and started becoming changes of the positive nature.. I cant wait to see what  the next 2 months brings us...time to say hello to some and time to say see you later to others...

superstitious...

I just want to start by saying that I typically do not  find myself to be superstitious...I do however believe that things happen for a reason.  It was not until yesterday when the kids and I came home to find Zoe's dog, Samba, laying on the porch by the door not doing so well. She had been attacked by something. I have my thoughts as to what happened and I am not willing to share those thoughts out loud..Besides the point of this post is about being superstitious..or NOT superstitious as I have always thought of myself. Anyway since the calender turned to two thousand THIRTEEN...we have had our bank taken over without notice. After standing in line for 3 hours I was assured that all bills I had paid the day before would be piushed through and paid...All but the house payment and life insurance policy payments were!!  Imagine my surprise when we got a 30 day late notice on the house payment and notices from ALL our life insurance policies stating thatthey had lapsed and could be reinstated if we made a double payment.  Then a really good friend was killed in a single vehicle accident, which could have been prevented had he being wearing his seatbelt. He left behind his wife and 3 wonderful children...Another friend from high school found out she has breast cancer and has 1 year of chemo ahead of her, another friend has lots of tumors, non Cancerous, but still has some major pain and lots of medical visits ahead of her.  My Mom has spent the night in the hospital with severe chest pain and difficulty breathing.....all test results come back normal or negative. Best we can figure is some type of infection on the lining of her lungs that presents like a heartache. Zoe has had the flu twice already this year, all four of us got hit with this terrible cold, Gene missed 2 weeks of work with it and the kids and I are going on our second week with it. 2 other friends have lost their beloved horse this week and now Zoe's dog yesterday.  When the kids and I got home for the 2nd time yesterday (we left while Gene came home to take care of Samba) I learned a really good friend of mine who has been through everything to have a child and ended up pregnant a second time without the help of technology and modern medicine just gave birth to her second little boy 5 days ago is on her way to UCSF this morning of genetic testing of some sort as his newborn screening levels were elevated and at day 4 those levels were even higher....So now I find myself sitting here asking  WHEN WILL IT END?? SO far 2013 has NOT been nice to us.I know that it will end and things will start looking up but come on....please don't make this last until 2014...I. AM. NOT. SUPERSTITIOUS! I'm Not! I'm Not! I'm Not!!!

Randomness

Today it is just Ayden and I. Gene is at work and Zoe is at a sleepover with one of her girlfrends from
4-H. As I sit here thinking about all kinds of random stuff I thought it to be the perfect time to write them down, afterall my brain has been awake since 4 am working overtime.
I need to get working on the response and 'where we are registered' cards for Alicia, I can see them clearly in my head now to just get them out and on paper to be sent off for approval from the bride and groom to be.
I should be working on the laundry.
Also thinking about Cassie and the baby after an upsetting phone call from her earlier in the week. Knowing there isn't much I can do being so far away but to sit and wait ...I have tried and all I get are short quick responses so I can only think that she is feeling much better and no longer needs me. Doesn't make it easy to deal with but I guess thats the way it is.
Should Ayden and I go start on those choclate chip cookies I promised we would make today?
I could get up and super clean the kitchen today...
My bedroom needs cleaned and stuff on through...
I could be using this time to take pictures and post things on CCSD that are just sitting in the corners of our house . Things we no longer need but are too good to throw away.
There are so many things that I could be doing but all I want to do is sit right here on te couch and watch Ayden play the wii...

So many random things...

Holidays....

As the holidays approach my husband and I  have the same conversation we have had for the past 12 years.  He wants to stay home on Christmas Day.  We ALWAYS go to my Mom's for Christmas.  It is they way it has always been. As I child we went to my Grandma's House. I do not really remember a Christmas at home as a child, but I am sure there were Christmas's at 'our house'. Anyway, with the older children on there own and coming back to CC for the holidays it is really important to him so I agreed.  At first I was not happy about this at all and worried how my Mom would feel about it.  My brothers are all grown and mostly gone, one lives with his wife about an hour out of town, one lives 6 hours away and just had a new baby!! the other lives in town.  So I really want what family can be together on Christmas morning. After several days of thinking about it I came to realize that if I want no family drama this year I will have to suck it up and give in to my husbands request, after all I have had it my way for the past 12 Christmases. I am getting excited about Christmas at home, just for the fact that it will be a lazy laid back day and my kids can play with all their new things all day long. 

Now it seems as if My Mom and Dad will be going to Paradise to spend Christmas with my brother, his wife, and their 2 children.  I am happy for that as my children have always had Grandma and Grandpa on Christmas day and I want that for my brother and his new born daughter....but it will be mighty lonely here without them...Not sure 100% how all this will play out and I know it will be just fine come Christmas morning...however it makes me sad to think that the day has come when our family is being split apart instead of growing larger... I guess we cant always have everyone all in the same place every single holiday. I just wish there was a way for all of us to be  in the same place at the same time and HAPPY about it and I feel like this year because I have  choosen to honor my husbands wishes and give our children a Christmas at Home that there are going to be some hurt feelings....

Thoughts....

The following is just random thoughts of mine from the past week or so...
Missing the kids after they left...A little after 24 hours we learned of a tragic and sudden death in the family of someone far to young to leave this world and especially the way he did...This passing  would bring home the kids again the following weekend..I was so glad to see them again yet it was sad....Many tears were shared and the mood was defiantly blue..We left the little ones with Grandma and Grandpa while the rest of us went to the celebration of life services and reception...and while it was one of the saddest days I enjoyed spending time with people I have not seen in a long while...It was good to see my big kids make connections with certain people whom I feared were lost forever due to things that happened in the past... As soon as we said our good-byes and walked out of the church the only thing I wanted was to go to Grandma's and get my little ones and hold onto them never letting go!  Life is precious and short..I would love to know that I have done everything I have ever wanted to and always let those I love dearly know that...if anything should ever happen to me unexpectedly I would hope that each and every person I love knows without a doubt that I do love them dearly....As sad as I was this last week I would like to think that God had a hand in this and he was trying to send a message to those of us left behind..why he choose the one he did and the way he did I will never even pretend to begin to understand it but as we all know God works in mysterious ways and for whatever reason he choose this special person to leave us early....you will always be missed....

Independence Day

This year could not have been more perfect. The parade was awesome..so many people were in the parade and lining the streets. It started out foggy but soon cleared up and was a little on the warm side for Crescent City. After standing in line for our doughboy we all wandered around to see what was being sold then headed on down to the beach to wait for the fireworks.  The beach was perfect. The tide was just starting to go out, the fog cleared up, absolutely no clouds and we had a large stretch of the beach all to ourselves...The kids could climb on the rocks, build sand castles and squeal with delight all they wanted.  After several hours of relaxing, listening to the waves, and watching the pelican and hawk look for food we built our bonfire...Cooked corn on the cob, Taylor's Sausages, and s'mores!!!  Shortly after fillling our bellies the fireworks started!  They were amazing this year...Made it through the entire display with NO FOG!  The only trouble with sunshine like that...we are STILL sore from the sunburn..

Summer Days

I just love summer days like today...woke up early and had the quite house all to myself for 3 hours. Gene was at work, Ayden spent the night at grandmas, Aaron at his mom's, and Zoe slept until 9:30...Then Zoe and I went to Grants Pass to shop for groceries for the 4th... yummmm  BBQ'ed hot dogs and s'mores. Can't wait to spend the day with family and friends at the beach! tomorrows agend? get up early scrap a few pages, make s'mores cookies, and wait for Bryce to get home from Santa Rosa... Its going to be a great weekend....